A new kind of nightmare
by jossaphine allibrandi
Summary: Dudly goes to Harry and Ginny's wedding and falls in love with luna... however and equally large neville is allso battling for her attention. things regress ;) slightly silly but funny :)


**AN.**

**This idea popped into my head and I had to write it...**

**Its completely random and a little stupid, so enjoy :)**

The lone letter pushed through the slot and landed on the mat with a thud.

Dudley heaved himself out of armchair with great effort and waddled to the front door of his flat. He struggled to bend over far enough to pick it up but managed after a few tries before waddling back and collapsing in his armchair.

He regarded the envelope in surprise, getting mail was a very rare thing, almost all of his communicating was done over the internet.

His stomach sank when he saw the claw marks on the side.

The only time there were ever claw marks on a letter was when an owl delivered it.

And the only time an owl delivered a letter was when a wizard sent one.

And in his experience, the only time a wizard ever sent one was when there was bad news.

So he was pleasantly surprised to find that instead of bad news it was, in fact, a wedding invitation. and as the only wizard Dudley knew was harry, he was unsurprised that the lucky bastard had managed to nab himself a wife, a hot one to judging by the photo at the top.

Fourth of June... Thats in four months... Well why not? He wouldn't tell his parents though, he knew how that would end.

four months later Dudley hailed a cab and gave him the address that he'd been told he could get a lift from. he wasn't expecting to be dropped of at and old deserted football field and was about to tell the driver he must have gotten the address wrong when he was hailed over by a group of men wearing what appear to be brightly colored dresses... on approaching them he found that they were actually robed, not unlike what Gandalf wore in that lord of the rings nonsense, although these were a lot fancier.

Following instructions from the madman who appeared to be in charge grabbed hold of a one direction cd. before he could ask how they became in possession of something so mundane (and ask if he could borrow it, he was quite the fan) his stomach was tugged away from him (quite a feat) and he appeared on the edge f a beautiful forest.

Following the brightly colored wizards and feeling a little out of place in his massive tuxedo he heaved his along a small path until the most misshapen house came into view.

Set in front of it was a large white tent lit with what he assumed was fairy lights but when he got closer found to be tiny glowing fairies.

Dudley didn't join in the dancing that was taking place, instead he seated himself on one of the couches and watched people arriving without much interest.

then all of a sudden he saw her. his mother would have hated her, called her "odd" but he couldn't take her eyes of her. her bright yellow dress and her white blonde hair made her look like some sort of sun goddess. her large orb like blue eyes were ringed by dark lashes making her look delicate and fragile. every thing that the whale that was Dudley Dursly was not. He watched in awe as she danced alone, not in the least bit concerned that every one else had a partner. Her delicate figure in her tight dress now that shed taken her coat of had Dudley staring cross eyed.

After the ceremony (through which Dudley dozed bored, he couldn't see the girl in the gold dress) but after would when he saw her standing once again alone at the drinks table and made his way over to her. he introduced himself and learnt her name was luna. he was about to ask her to dance when another boy of the same impressive size as dudley came behind her and tapped her on the shoulder.

"Hi Neville" she laughed and hugged him. Her laugh was like bells tinkling and he was livid at this "Neville".

"Hello, I'm Neville" the other house sized boy held out his hand and the whale boy shook it, trying his best to crush it but his hand was so questioned by fa that Neville could hardly feel it.

"Dudley" he glared at him.

"So err luna, would you like to um dance?" Neville asked her awkwardly.

Luna nodded shyly but Dudley put his hand on his arm.

"Sorry 'Neville' but she was already dancing with me" he told Neville, his voice laced with loathing.

"Well it didn't look like it, it looked like you were just leaving" Neville hinted but Dudley ignored the hint.

"I know" luna pushed between the two mammoths with some difficulty (Dudley couldn't help but notice she smelt like Mandarins) "lets all dance together!" she smiled up at them innocently.

she pulled them both out onto the dance floor (much to the amusement of every one watching) and holding one hand of each began to dance in her own unrestrained way. the two boys quite literally fought over her, pulling an oblivious luna back and forth between them. when Dudley grabbed her hand Neville slapped it away and when Neville put his arm around her slim waist Dudley punched him in the face. they went down punching each other with fat arms while luna watched confused.

They rolled around trying to get on top of each other, their bulk making the entire tent shake. When things got out of hand and it became clear that the rest of the guests were very much in danger of getting crushed Ron and Fred ran forward to try to stop them.

Even though Ron was taller he was so thin that he wasn't making any difference what so ever in his attempts to restrain Neville and Fred was trapped underneath Dudley who hadn't even noticed. A few more people came forward to help until one of Neville's flying arms hit bill, knocking him into a very drunk Seamus Finnegan who promptly punched him in the face. Bill punched him back but missed Seamus who had stumbled and hit mr Weasley instead. A full blown riot ensued and then one of Dudley's flailing legs knocked down a tent pole and the whole thing collapsed on top of them, burying them thick fabric and fairies.

Harry woke with a yell and fell of the bed with a crash.

"Harry? Are you all right?" ginny called down sleepily.

"Yeah I'm fine hun, go back to sleep it was just a nightmare" he soothed climbing back onto the bed and rubbing her arm.

"The usual one about Voldemort killing remus? Or Tonks or Maddeye? Or one of your old ones from the department of mysteries?" she asked.

"Erm not quite, a new one... but Ginny?"

"Yeah?"

"I've made up my mind, lets not invite Dudley to the wedding."

**AN.**

**I think I need to apologize for what I did to Neville, I'm actually a massive Neville fan but I needed him to be a house for the story...**

**And about making Dudley a one direction fan... well I cant stand them my self but the power of being an author is you can make your characters do all sorts of crazy things :)**


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